Food 101

You know it occurred to me that cooking is not like breathing. I mean, to some people it’s natural…(like me!) But to the new bride for instance, it may be nerve racking and a source of continued anxiety. She constantly wonders what to do? what to do? If you didn't grow up learning recipes at your grandma's knee and you haven't a clue, then you need ideas. I find myself sharing ideas all the time so why not put them on the page, right? I’ve been cooking for like forever and I actually derive pleasure from…cooking! Thankfully I have a large family which on paper sounds like I cook all the time. But in fact, being teenagers my kids rarely eat home like they used to.…insert moment of silence here. And.. my dear hubby is a vegan, a shot to my meat and potatoes heart. SO short of giving leftovers to the homeless and growing my own victory garden, I have gotten creative. I thought there might be a few folks out there who could relate. Feel free to post your ideas and comments about life and recipes and lets consider this an ongoing conversation over a cup of coffee and some cake!

The picture you see is not my macaroni and cheese but doesn't it look wonderful! I love mac and cheese..doesn't everyone? It's like how to make friends and influence people in one easy lesson, bring mac and cheese. Ok enuf chatter.. Here's a few ideas. Oh yeah.. I write these recipes as if I were talking to a new bride or someone who's never cooked before. So don't be insulted if you're a seasoned chef like myself (Not!) and I take time to explain things. That's how we all learn. Right? The good thing is, this is basic food, nothing fancy This is the stuff you remember from thanksgiving. I believe it's not the fancy stuff that brings folks home for dinner. It's home cooking. And that's what I'm about, being able to put together good food and feeling good about making it. I learned how to cook because I had feed people and I didn't want to kill them with my cooking!! I believe you have a lifetime to learn how to prepare snails in wine sauce. Lets work on the basics. No precise measurements here, the idea is to trust your instincts.  Ready?

Baked Mac and Cheese

16 oz box of noodles of choice (get the 99 cent box please!) Fat macaroni works great!

Cheese- I use the mild and sharp cheddar. Go easy on the sharp it can quickly overpower. You want at least 3 cups combined for a 9x13 pan. Contrary to popular belief, more cheese does not necessarily a better mac and cheese make. Without flavor it's an expensive bowlful of goo.

 Eggs- 2-3

Milk-you are making custard with the eggs and the milk, so enough to fill half the pan. A word about eggs to milk ratio. Too eggy and you will have dry macaroni and cheese, too milky and your eggs will not set up well. So just eyeball it. I have screwed this up many times but there is hope if you do. Keep reading.
9x13 pan- This works well. Too deep of a pan and the casserole (which is what this is) takes too long to cook.and you run the risk of overcooking your eggs. To shallow.. and well trust me this is a good size. I use pyrex. Start your pyrex collection with this pan it's cheap and you can use it for everything.

Salt, pepper and a pinch of sugar. Yes I said sugar!


 Oven 350 for 40-50 minutes depending on temp of your oven. I'll explain later. Keep reading.

OK here we go.

Cook your mac- with plenty of salt,and al dente. Don't forget this is going to be in a hot oven for a while, so don't watch tv while this is cooking. (smile) Al dente means it is still a little undone, not crunchy just a little undone. Stir your mac. Oh yeah if you don't have enough water in the pot your mac will be al dente and mushy (scientific term..mushy) anyway, cook your mac in a big ol stock pot with about 2 tablespoons of salt. Let the water come to a full rolling boil and then pour your noodles in. Stir.(Big ol spoon)
While it's cooking organize your area, wipe counters, wash your dirty dishes. Clean as you go.
Ok noodles done, Take a colander and put it in the sink. Carefully pour your noodles hot, water into the colander. The water will run out and your noodles will be steaming hot.(They will continue to cook until they cool down.) Do not turn the water off and leave the noodles in the hot water. Over cooked noodles are good for wall paper paste and are absolutely non-redeemable. Take the colander with the noodles/mac..and put it on top of the pot. It should sit nicely. Now is a good time to pour a little melted butter over your noodles and stir them. Butter is not necessary for good mac and cheese. In fact it adds very little flavor unless you alter it. Like brown it in a pan first.This adds good flavor but also turns up the salt factor. if you're going to do this adjust the salt in your custard. You are just putting enough butter on to keep the noodles from sticking.





Cool your mac-
While your mac is cooling... Make your custard
Pour your milk in a bowl..salt and pepper to taste and a little sugar to balance. This is not supposed to be sweet! Just balanced. If you don't trust yourself, just stick with the salt and pepper. Pepper is a seasoning and it will alter the flavor so not to much please. And over salting will kill your meal in a hurry. Remember your noodles are salted and you just poured salted butter ( unsalted butter is a very specific ingredient, not generally used for artery clogging meals like this one.) The way to get better is to taste, and taste frequently.
..Ahem..a word about tasting. Some people double dip, that drives me crazy and so what I do is take whatever I'm tasting and put it in the palm of my hand. Then just taste it from my hand. If it's super lava hot, I use a clean spoon and blow on the food till it's cool enough to taste. Then I clean the spoon and re-use it.  I usually keep a sink full of soapy water, and I wear and apron for drying hands, spoon, utensil...you get the idea. How 1950 of me i know. But when I wear an apron I wipe my wet hands on my apron instead of on my clothes. See theres a method ot my madness! You can get one at Macy's cellar, or any place that sells cookware. Bed bath and beyond too. I've also just thrown a towel over my shoulder like a burp cloth. You look very cheffy (another scientific term!) and it works. You don't need an apron, I just like them. (smile)

Ok where were we?.. 


ah yes..the custard. Why do I call it a custard? Because a custard is eggs, milk and sugar. Because you make it savory by adding pepper makes it no less a custard.
Once you get the seasoning correct in your milk add the eggs,. Remember milk first, otherwise you're tasting raw egg..yuk! Eggs should be beaten well. Otherwise you have scrambled eggs in your mac and cheese.
Okay time to layer. My favorite part. Take your buttered mac and with clean hands..fingernails.. the whole shebang. You can use a big ol spoon if you have a cut or something on your hand. Let's assume you don't..,hahaha anyway,
half the noodles on the bottom, then cheese, do not be skimpy. I usually shake a little pepper here. More noodles, and cheese. You want the cheese to cover every nook and cranny. A little more pepper, you are just looking for the flavor you are not trying to make it spicy hot, unless that's how you like it. Remember it's your mac and cheese.
...A word about seasoning.- Depending on how you grew up and what flavors you're used to and your particular palette this mac and cheese may not suit you. No biggie. You can customize it to suit your taste. Spanish style mac might have red and yellow peppers, onion and a little cayenne and adobo in the noodles and maybe some cayenne and cumin in the custard. Indian flavor might have a little Garam Marsala in the noodles onion, garlic and turmeric and chili powder in the custard. Definitely the flavors would vary from what you've seen here. This is just an outline. You fill out the blanks the way you want to. You can add veggies to the buttered noodles add spices to the custard. Get it? Go ahead I won't be offended.





OK so we've got the cheese and the noodles together. The next step is to pour the custard over the noodles/cheese mixture. I use a jar to stir my custard because of this step. I cannot tell you how many times I have decorated my counter with custard goo because I used a big ol bowl to pour my custard and it went everywhere but in the casserole. Anyway, I'm sure you'll be better at this than I was..but I use a large applesauce jar or measuring cup.
Pour your custard all over the top, use that same big ol spoon to move your noodles around so the custard gets evenly distributed. Okay ready? Time to put this baby in the oven.
Put your pan on a cookie sheet before you put it in the oven. Why you ask? I know I heard you ask. HAHA. Because your cheese is going to melt, and chances are it's going to bubble over. So trust me you want your mess on the cookie sheet and not on the bottom of your oven. ( I still have nightmares about the fire truck and the lasagna..)
So anyway just put it on a beat up cookie sheet or aluminum foil the oven rack before you put it in there and you will save yourself a headache, trust me.
Pop it in. Leave it alone for about 30 minutes. Do not open the door. Everytime you peek you drop the temperature in  the oven 25 degrees.
After 30 min. you can open the oven and gently move the contents around in the pan with your spoon. It's going to be really hot so be careful. The stuff at the edges is probably begining to set up by now and the cheese on the top may even be melting depending on how hot your oven is. I take my big ol spoon (metal) and pull the contents from around the edges toward the middle which once you move the cheese around you will notice is still very liquid. Do not panic. Continue to move the contents and turn the pan around and leave it for another 20-30 minutes.  Now if you are looking for a nice brown crunchy top and a pretty presentation um..sorry that probably won't happen here. Because you have more custard than the average bear you will get creamy cheesy rather than pretty brown and uniform. You could always sprinkle cheese on it while it's cooling and that will cover a multitude of sins!
But I digress..check your mac. By now it's probably getting done on the edges but the middle is still milky. OH NO! ( don't panic) Pull the edges toward the middle. This is where I usually take it out and let it finish setting up on stove. Here's the principle.If your oven is too hot one of two things will happen; your eggs will separate and you will have watery mac and cheese. Or your cheese will separate and you will have watery clumpy mac and cheese. I've done this and let me tell you yelling at your food only confirms everyone's suspicions.(smile) So, this is what I did. I put it in colander (yes you read that right) and let the water drain out of the steaming hot mac mess. Threw it back it a clean pan and dumped more cheese and buttered bread crumbs on top and put it back in the oven to melt the cheese. I served it to my then little children and they ate it without complaint. All of that to say I have a phobia now. I rather take it out underdone and let it finish cooking while it cools. (what!)
Yes, the custard continues to cook even after you take it out of the oven. It's super super hot when it comes out of the oven and it may take 3 or 4 hours to cool completely. While it's cooling the cheese and custard do thier thing and when you can stir it once more and you will be pleased with the results. Taste it and notice how your flavorings taste. What do you need to add more or less of. This is where your personality shines. Fix what you can and I hope you are proud of yourself because you did a wonderful job!

Mistakes I have made-
Cheese separates and leaves a watery clumpy mac- Generally un-redeemable because of chunky cheese and the fact that the cheese has separated from the macaroni. You are left with water and chunky cheese in the bottom of the pan and naked noodles. Toss and try again. Even though I saved mine, It was really inedible, it worked because generally toddlers will eat what no body else will. Don't base your mac on my mistake.

Too much milk- No matter what you do it will not emuslify (come together) It is still very milky. I would throw the whole thing in a big ol stock pot on med. heat. mix a tblsp of flour or cornstarch and cold water until you have a white liquid the consistency of milk. Pour it in and stir. Adjust your seasonings. You should see it coming together. Now throw in some more cheddar cheese, or leftover spagetti sauce is wonderful. You could also throw in some ham if you don't have spagetti sauce. The bottom line is you come out with a tasty meal that will last you a few days. No one has to know that you didn't mean to make it. HAHA!