Mashed Potatoes anyone?

 A Carb junkie's delight!

Now I could actually envision a Thanksgiving meal without mashed potatoes, in fact I've eaten many a Thanksgiving turkey without the mashed potatoes.  Apparently this is sacrilege. Amazing what you find out when you lift your head out of your own plate to see what the rest of the world is eating on Thanksgiving. Ha! SO I decided post a little sumptin sumptin about mashed potatoes. Now just because I don't usually make mashed potatoes for Thanksgiving doesn't mean that I don't make them. I'm just more inclined to make them for dinner. I'm weird that way!
I like simple mashed potatoes. Nothing too fancy, just the basics. I recently found a recipe online for incredible mashed potatoes from one of  my all time favorite websites thepioneerwoman.com. I cannot wait to try her recipe for mashed potatoes with cream cheese and butter. Yum! You can find her recipe on her website. (I have already bookmarked it!) It seems like such a simple endeavor, cut up potatoes , boil them and mash them with butter right? Yeah well, if only! I have personally made mashed potatoes that have come out like wallpaper paste and are inedible, even for toddlers! (Whom I generally consider  to be little disposals who will eat anything as long as it's covered in cheese! Oh wait...that's me!)  It just took me forever to get the hang of making mashed potatoes. I kept messing them up. It drove me crazy because I didn't know why and I like to know why stuff goes wrong when I screw up a recipe. I think deep down (.. like really, really deep down) I was meant to be a food scientist or something.  Anyway I went on a quest to find out what I was doing wrong. And through the magic of the internet I can share this information with you! It turns out that the culprit was starch. I was using regular Idaho russet potatoes. ( or whatever was on sale that week!) These have a higher starch content than say the more expensive Yukon gold or Red  potatoes. And what happens is that when you boil them and then use a mixer on them ( a big no no!) instead of a potato masher or ricer you break down the cells and they release their starch. The breakdown in the starch leads to gummy mashed potatoes. And let me tell you there is no redemption here, once potatoes get gummy they are just dead. There is no hope. They must go the way of the dinosaur! There, now you  have more information than you ever wanted to know on the subject. If you want to know more go to my other favorite site about.com

Potato Masher

Now you can find recipes for mashed potatoes everywhere but I want to show you how to actually make the potatoes. Let's cook.
You will need:
A bag of potatoes (this works for some families, I need more like two (or twelve) But whatever works for you.
Use Yukon Gold for the best flavor.
Gigantic pot of boiling water, heavily salted.
Pepper
Salt
Milk
And whatever else you want to add, cheese, butter, garlic, cream, chives, sour cream...you get the idea. Alright let's cook potaotes.
Put your big pot of water on the stove with like 3 tablespoons of salt. Taste it as you add your salt. The amount of salt is determined by how big your pot is. One saucepan does not a stockpot make. If your pot is indeed gigantic than add more salt. If it's smaller than a stock pot add less salt.  You  want to taste the salt, you don't want it to burn your lips.Once your water starts to really boil. You are ready to add your potatoes. You will have peeled cut your potatoes into uniform pieces already. Add them to the boiling water and leave them for about 15 -20 minutes. They are done when you can stick a fork into one and it's tender.
Put a colander into the sink and pour your hot water and potatoes into the colander. Shake the excess water off the potatoes and put them back in the pot on a low flame.
Now VEE MASH! ( Inga voice) Get into it, don't be nice! Taste your potatoes. They should be salted but not salty. Add about a stick of butter and mash it while it melts. More butter? Why not? Be mindful that more butter does not necessarily mean more flavor. Add your milk or cream and continue to mash. At this point I'm tasting as I mash, and trying not to lick the masher and get my tongue stuck in all those little openings... Ahem (Never you mind..)
Now this is your dish, you can add whatever you want. Sour cream is nice, or roasted garlic.
Tips:
Try putting your prepared potatoes in 350 degree oven for about 40 minutes or so and let them get a little crust on the top.
How to make friends and influence people...
Layer your prepared potatoes with cheddar cheese..top with more cheese and melted butter. Sprinkle on salt and pepper and more cheese. Bake in the oven for 45-60 minutes. "Oh my dear gracious..honey call the cardiologist and have him reserve me a room I'm going in!!" Hahahaha!

How to make bread...

Going where mortals fear to tread into the dark crevices of the unknown, (cue mournful sobs..) Bread..that dastardly villan of yeast and dough...BREAD!! .. okay..okay I'm done...hahaahaha! Ah..I missed my calling..

  Anyway..in case you haven't figured it out, I'm going to show you how to make bread. Oh yes you CAN make bread, anyone can make bread. And as usual, I like to take the mystery out of the mysterious. There are no special skills needed here. If you can find your way to the grocery store you can make bread. There. Now lets get started.
First of all lets tawk about the yeast. It's alive, (It is ALIVE!!) sorry..Ahem.. Yeast is a living organism, so without getting too detailed. We need to feed it. Sugar feeds the yeast and it grows. It releases gases that make the bread rise. The longer it takes to rise the better the flavor. For our purposes we are going to make a plain old fashioned white bread. ( for you vegans out there I will include a few sentences on how to make a regular white bread recipe vegan friendly).
You will need a good recipe:
No knead Crusty White Bread (www.kingartherflour.com)
3 cups lukewarm (not hot) water
6 1/2 to 7 1/2 cups all purpose flour
1 tablespoon salt
1 1/2 tsp
(2 tablespoons sugar) my addition, this is not included in the original recipe. I like my bread a little sweet.
Now this is a no knead recipe which means you can't hurt it by kneading the dough. Which is what you are going to do. I will give you a couple of bread tips that I use but you must be able to do the basics first.

Well kneaded bread..

Kneading is manipulating the dough until the gluten strands form. Unlike biscuit dough you want to manipulate bread dough because that's how you develop a nice even crumb. Just take a piece of bread out of your cabinet and look at it.  See the nice even crumb? No giant holes. This bread has been kneaded well, no little old ladies kneading bread at the Wonder bread factory, no sir. So, the more you knead or manipulate the dough the better it is for the bread. With scrupulously clean hands lets begin. You will need a big bowl or pot, (I use a pot, it's less cleanup.) measuring cups and your ingredients. Measure your flour into the measuring cup by cupfuls. The best way to do this is to pour the flour into your measuring cup over a big bowl. That way the excess falls in the bowl and not on your counter. Measure your flour and scrape the excess off the top with a butter knife. I know it seems like a lot of work but it's worth it. If you are not careful and just dip your cup into the flour bag, you run the risk of having too much flour. It's not the end of the world if it's just 1/4 cup or so but the more flour you put in, the more liquid you are going to have to put in to compensate and then the more salt....you get the idea. You will change the balance of the recipe. Baking is like exercise, you have to develop good form so consider me your trainer. (Feel the burn!) Okay, where were we? Yes, measuring the flour. When in doubt go for less flour rather than more. So, this recipe says 6 1/2 to 7 1/2 cups of flour. Go with the lesser amount. You may or may not use that last cup of flour when you knead.
Anyway, take your measured flour and add your salt. About the yeast, I just buy plain old yeast in the big packages from BJ's. If you are a newbie, and we all were once. Just buy whatever kind of yeast you want from the grocery store in the flour isle. I would stay away from the yeast cubes because they are hard to measure. A yeast packet is generally about a tablespoon of yeast. That's important for those recipes that say, 1 packet of yeast.
I'm not an instant yeast user by choice, although some swear by it, I just use boring powdered yeast. The longer your bread rises the more flavorful it will be. So quick rise means less flavor, but maybe I'm just a purist. No matter. There are no rules, just guidelines remember? Whatever your heart desires. How do you know if bread is flavorful or not? Here's how, take a piece of that bread you buy for the kids sandwiches, you know the store brand or Wonder or whatever. Hey, I do the same thing, no need to give the kids the good stuff. These folks eat twinkies!
Now take a piece of the more expensive potato bread or whole grain anything. The kind you keep for the adults! Yes it's different, still not homemade but pretty good. That's bread with flavor, and what you make in your own kitchen will be 1000 times better than the best bread in the store. (Darn that soapbox, there it goes again!)

Yeast just starting to bubble..

Now, you've got your dry ingredients in a big bowl, (salt, flour, 2 tablespoons of sugar). And  2 1/2 cups of warm water in a cup and 1/2 cup of warm water in another cup. A word about the temperature of the water. If your water is "ouch" hot. It will kill the yeast. So the water needs to be warm, like baby bottle warm. Put your yeast in the 1/2 cup of water with about 1 tablespoon of sugar and within a few minutes it should start to bubble at the edges. Now get a cup of tea. Your yeast needs to bubble for a few minutes. Those bubbles are the first sign of healthy yeast. In other words yeast that hasn't been sitting on the shelf for a year and is still alive. If you skip this step and proceed and your yeast is dead, your dough will not rise and there is absolutely nothing you can do but toss the whole batch. So do this step every time you make bread, and if your yeast is dead you've wasted a 1/2 cup of water and some sugar and that's it.  Trust me on this.

Happy Yeast!

Now, if you look at the measuring cup on the right you'll notice all the foam, that's thriving yeast. If after 20 minutes your yeast still looks like one up there, it's dead.  No matter, just toss it and try with an entirely new packet. Yeast is so cheap and so vital to bread baking it pays to throw at least one packet in the shopping cart every time you go shopping.
At least that's how I look at it. :-)
Tea done, ahh.. that was wonderful. Now back to the bread.
Combine your yeast water with the 2 1/2 cups of warm water which should probably need a about that long in the microwave to reheat it. Test it before you combine it with the yeast or well you know...
Pour your combined liquids into the dry ingredients and stir. It'll be a sticky unbread looking thing but no matter. Keep stirring. If you do not have a stand mixer your arm will probably fall off before long but

hang in there. A stand mixer will make quick work of the mixing process. But if you don't have one you can still make bread. So you are stirring, stirring until it all gets incorporated into a big blob. At this point the recipe says to refrigerate and leave it for up to 7 days. What? No no, we want bread tonight. We are not going to put it in the fridge (a word about the cold, it retards the development of yeast. In other words your bread will still rise but slower) The fridge is great for "you wanted to make bread but life happened." Yeah, been there, done that!HAAHA!
Alright now, you can leave your big bowl on the counter with a top on it or put it in the fridge. It's a good time to clean up. You've got about 1-2 hours to hang out. Go watch a show, or check your email.

Ok it's about 2 hours later and your bread has risen quite a bit. Dump it onto a floured counter and it should look like a wet sticky blob of dough. Now vee shall KNEAD! (said in my Inga voice) If you stick your finger in the blob it will be covered in dough, Make note of the consistency. Ready. KNEAD!  Shake some flour on the blob and lean your palms down on the center of the dough. Still sticky. Flip one end over toward the middle shake flour, spread flour all over the top, push palms down, flip another side over, shake flour over it smooth flour, push palms down over top. This is not the time to be nice. Put your weight into this palms down thing. Work out your frustration. Stuck in traffic for 40 minutes!!! Grrr... Darned cleaners messed up my dress!! grrrr!! get the picture? Passed over again for that proMOtion!!grrrr!! let it out!. Hey it's cheaper than therapy. The idea is to work the gluten in dough. Now stick your finger in the dough. Not so easy this time right? The dough springs back, in fact the little impression that your finger left is almost gone. Happy dough! Now again the recipe says to put this in the fridge because they are trying to make this as simple as they can for a first time bread baker such as yourself. I however, feel like if we don't conquer the hard stuff now you'll be making no-knead bread forever! So you've successfully kneaded your dough, go ahead and do the dance, go on now you've earned it!
Alright, almost there. Now is when I usually roll my dough out as flat as I can, cut it down the middle and roll into two loaf shaped logs. If your dough will cooperate great. If not just shape it into a log(s) and put it in your loaf pan(s) OR go for that artisan thing and shape it into a ball. Whutevuh!
Alright now leave your bread to rise for another hour or so. This part is kind of important, if you leave your bread for too long it will loose the rise that it will get in the oven. No more than 1 hour. Now put your loaves in a hot oven. The recipe says 450 but I dunno, I would put it in at 375. I think my oven runs hot and I don't like burned bottoms so, yeah 450 is hot for me. Put it in at whichever temperature you feel comfortable with for about 20-25 minutes. Bread bakes super fast so hang around your kitchen.
Tips:
You can put a pan of hot water on the bottom of the oven just under your baking bread for that chewy French bread crust.
You can also brush your bread with a beaten egg for that shiny brown crust you see in the bakery before you put it in the oven.
I brush mine with butter as soon as it comes out. But this takes away from the crunchy crust...but then I don't really care..heehee!
when you get confident;
Go to thefreshloaf.com. that's like bread college!
I substitute milk for the water in my recipes, or i add a cup of mashed potatoes.
For vegans: Use white whole wheat, King Arthur if you can find it. and 1/2 cup gluten flour. You will find this in the health food isle of any well stocked grocery store. It makes for a wonderful light spongy whole wheat loaf. Regular wheat flour cuts the gluten strands that you are trying to build up when you knead the dough. That's why homemade wheat bread tends to be heavy. Not to mention that regular whole wheat does not have any gluten of it's own. White flour has gluten in it. You must use white whole wheat flour (whole wheat pastry flour is wonderful too!) and vital wheat gluten. You can get this on Amazon. Bobs Red Mill makes it for about 7 bucks.
Breads out! Tap it. It should sound hollow, doesn't it smell wonderful?  Now you can brush melted butter on it or leave it. Take it out of the loaf pans and let it cool on a rack. Cut it and enjoy!

A few words for the dearly departed... or how to make soup from scraps

the aftermath...

Wow...what time is it? That sure was a great meal. Really? Was I asleep that long.? Is it 4th quarter already! Gee 12 nothing huh? These are the musings from a  tryptophan stupor. What is tryptophan? Actually it is a naturally occurring amino acid that is found in turkey. And truth be told there really isn't enough of it in turkey to make you sleepy. The reason most of us sleep after eating on thanksgiving is the reason we fall asleep after eating on any day; we eat like we are storing fat for the winter! But that's another blog entirely.
Back to the bird. Now that everyone has eaten and you are left putting the food away and  cleaning the kitchen all alone( and muttering to yourself. Mutter..mutter.. I sound like Yosimite Sam when I mutter..rasm..rasm...lily livered..two bit..long horned...HAHA!( If you were born after 1980 you have no idea what I'm talking about!) So you're cleaning up and looking at the pieces you know no one is going to eat and wondering what on earth you are going to do with them? Well, you my dear are going to make soup! Yes you can do this. Forget all of those folks who try to add mystery where there is none. It's not hard and you don't need any special skill. They're just trying to scare you!  Now before you tackle making soup, try to get everything else put away. Wipe your counters down and then attack the bird. Now remember, once you can make this soup, you'll be able to make any soup out of almost any combination of ingredients, because they all start out the same.(Well almost) Pretty tall words I know, and I mean to back them up. Are you ready?
You will need:
Sparkling clean hands and..
-1 turkey, chicken, duck (poultry) carcass. In other words what you have left after dinner is over. It's called a carcass.
-Onion
-garlic
-Salt
-oil
-carrots, celery, potato, whatever veggies you feel like cutting up and throwing in the pot
-and your imagination!
Okay..round one
Start taking the meat off the bones. There is no science to this. Just grab a piece and  pull all the meat off of it.
Throw the pieces of turkey in the pot. Take the meat off the turkey back. ( in other words turn the bird over and pick the meat off.) Making this soup is not a glamorous job. You won't win any prizes for beauty. In fact, you'll pretty much look like a halloween version of June Cleaver with your apron and big knife! But who cares as long as the soup gets done right?
Keep taking the meat off the bones and don't forget the pieces in the pan. No skin, just meat. Now if you have a lot of tiny pieces don't bother with them. Just let them be part of the broth.
What you're going for is a fair amount of light meat and dark meat, you probably won't fill the pot, but no worries just keep going. No questionable pieces please. If you wouldn't eat it than toss it.(as in throw it away)
So now you are going to take all the bones (hereafter to be known as "the carcass") that are left and put them in a pot large enough to hold them. All of those scraps are going to be used. Put a colander in the sink in a large bowl, now dump all of whats left from the turkey pan in the colander. This can be a total mess if you are not careful. I have had the whole thing fall on the counter, or on the floor! (ugh!) Just make sure you have a good idea of where the pot is and where the sink is. In case you haven't figured this out, this soup making thing is a solitary endeavor. Don't start it unless you have time to finish it, or you will be overwhelmed. And don't have any chatty Kathy's hanging around in the kitchen while you are trying to do this. This does take some concentration and you just don't have the time to talk about how you got that turkey so tender so, If you're still entertaining guests, wait until they all leave..I'm stepping down off my soapbox now!
P.S. if you don't want to do all of this work than you can just put all the food in the fridge and go to bed. I like that idea too! Also, clean up is way easier if you use aluminum baking pans for EVERYTHING)
Now back to our regularly scheduled programing..
Your colander is now full of just... stuff, dump the whole thing in the garbage. Not the broth, just the stuff in the colander. Remember the pot with the carcass?  Put this on the stove and fill it halfway with water and two chicken cubes. (Don't waste your good broth on this, you really just want a hint of flavor) Cover and turn the flame to medium and let it come to a boil. Once it comes to a boil turn your flame down to low and let it simmer. You are going to add this to the broth you just poured out of the pan which is in the bottom of the sink. (But not yet...I know trust me, there's a method to my madness) Depending on how much liquid you put in the pan when you roasted your turkey, you may or may not have more broth. Whatever, more broth is a good thing, but we can work with less broth too. Cover this bowl and put it aside. This is the start of your soup.
Here's what we are going for: 
The secret to any good soup is good broth. You can add stuff to it but creating it takes flavor from a source. Like bones or meat or vegetables. We are building a broth.
So..
-The bones and carcass need to be on the stove in a medium pot with water to cover and 2 chicken broth cubes. You are not going for super strong flavor here because the bones are already cooked, you just want to use whats left with no waste. Boosting it with a few cubes helps.
-The broth  from turkey pan needs to be in a covered bowl until it is needed. This is like found gold! It is what gives the soup it's homemade flavor because well.. it is homemade.You are going to use this in the next step.
-The pan that the turkey was cooked in needs to be washed and put away and everything cleaned up.Or if you used a disposable aluminum pan just throw the pan away!! It's not very green I know. Okay now, go get a cup tea, and put your bunny slippers and sweats on. Your  turkey carcass needs to simmer for about 1 hr.
Round two.
So far we have used the colander a pot and a bowl. Grab another pot, last one I promise! Put about 1 tablespoon of oil and 1 tablespoon of butter in it and turn your flame on medium. You should be smelling  the carcass cooking by now.
Once the butter is melted, Use your imagination. You can put in red pepper, parsley, or whatever your heart desires. Flavor it anyway you like with whatever spices you want to add.  At this point I add celery, garlic,salt, onion powder, pepper, potatoes if I want. No rules just guidelines remember? So, take a big spoon and dip some of the carcass broth in the pot. This helps the veggies in the pot not to stick or burn on the bottom. Turn your flame down and get your bowl of broth, the one from the turkey pan, pour it in, taste,correct seasonings and simmer for about 1 hour. Long enough to let your potatoes cook.  Now you have soup! That's all it is.. good broth and veggies. If you need more flavor go ahead and add a bouillon cube.
What about the broth from the carcass?
Well...turn your carcass broth off, and let it cool. Give it a taste. watery, but not water right? Good. It's just meant to correct your pot. It's not the soup. When you want to correct the seasonings in your pot of soup you don't want water and you don't want full broth yet. Full broth will overwhelm the flavor and water will..well water it down. You just want something  to correct the pot and add balance. Now that you know why we have the carcass broth you can choose to skip this step entirely and still have a pretty mean pot of homemade soup. Go for it. No rules, just guidelines remember? :-) Once you are done correcting your seasoning you can toss the carcass broth. OR if you are like me you can use it to boil chicken wings (bony pieces make better broth) and veggies and make more broth! yeah. Hey the more broth you have the more soup you have for later. Make a lot and use it for everything except like...pudding!
Alright now, stir your soup and taste it. It probably needs more of everything. Trust your instincts here. I can't tell you what it should taste like. But you'll know. If you still have thanksgiving veggies leftover, you know like corn or peas you can add them at this point. You could put noodles in right now too. But if you decide to put noodles in be mindful that they have a tendency to soak up a lot of liquid and get mushy..there's no other way to describe it. SO...if you want to put noodles in there's an alternative way you can do it.  Cook your noodles separately, not in the soup. I know it's so tempting to cook them in the soup but you will lose all of that yummy broth you worked so hard for. (Well maybe not all but you get the general idea). You can make enough noodles to refill the pot if you need to. People tend to eat all the noodles and leave the broth when they get soup! So there you have it. You've just made soup! Yeah..do the happy dance! You are incredible!!
Extras..

The nuts and bolts of good soup...

Good soup starts out with a good chicken, turkey, beef or vegetable broth. So, once you've got the broth down you can do anything! The more time you take crafting the broth the better your soup will be. So when you make broth make a lot of it and freeze the rest.
You don't need to tie up the whole kitchen when you want to make soup. You can start a quick soup with broth from a can or cubes. (cubes yes cubes! heehee) The thing to remember is that the cubes have a lot of salt and you may have to doctor the broth up a little to give it that homemade flavor. I find that if I'm going to make a soup with canned broth or cubes I try to stick with a cream soup or bean soup. (split pea works too!) because then the broth isn't the main attraction. So I might make a potato soup which is....leftover mashed potatoes stirred into your wonderful broth with a little pepper, and milk. Beyond that you can add whatever you like. (Ham? Bacon? oh yeah this is getting good right?) CHEESE?? hmmm..
or you could make a vegetable barley soup which is your wonderful broth with about 1/2 cup of barley added to it. Adding turkey makes it a turkey barley soup. What's barley? It's a grain. High protein and yummy. You can find it in the dried bean section. Cook it just like rice. I would cook it separately in some salted water or remember the carcass broth? Use it to cook the barley in your rice cooker..ahem. Anyway twice as much liquid as barley. (1 cup pearl barley to 2 cups water or liquid)
Feel better about this soup thing?
What about beef broth or veggie broth? Beef broth is cooking a roast with a fair amount of liquid, some lipton beefy onion dry soup mix, seasonings, cut up carrot, celery, potato and whatever else you want to add AND an oven bag. You can use the same kind you used for the turkey. Cook it on 325 for like 2 hours. Or crock pot it. No bag needed, just put everything in a crockpot and go to work. 8 hours later you have a delectable roast. The liquid in the pot is your gold!. Take it and add it to a smaller pot in which you have cooked some onion,celery and garlic down in some butta and a little oil.Throw in the cut up beef and some peas and carrots. Now a word about veggies that live in broth. They tend to lose their flavor. Here's a tip if you have time. Roast them in a 400 degree oven for about 15-30 minutes. Peas, carrots, potatoes all do well if you roast them in a little garlic and oil.  Even the canned stuff. Stir them about halfway through the cooking process. Then add them to your pot.  It makes a world of difference. You don't have to do this, only if you want to give it a try. Veggie broth is cooking stock veggies, Onion, carrot, parsley, garlic.  And whatever else. If you look in the vegetable section of the grocery store you can find stock vegetables in a styrofoam package. I get these and just keep them in the fridge. They are really handy to put in my broth to give it some muscle. Sometimes they have parsnips ( fancy carrots!) and turnips in the package. Just rinse these and put them in a pot. Or better yet roast them first and put them in a pot with veggie broth from a carton. The reason is the vegetable broth from the carton has so much more flavor than you can get from just veggies and your limited amount of time. Simmer this on the stove for about 1 1/2hours and then pour it into a colander in a bowl. The liquid you get will be what you build your soup with.
How to thicken your soup.
Add about 2 tablespoons of flour to the pot where you frying your onions garlic and celery in butter. The trick is to have equal amounts of flour to oil. In other words two tablespoons of oil to tablespoons of flour. Let the veggies cook down a bit, then sprinkle in your flour and stir. Eventually the flour with mesh with the oil and it will look like a uniform paste. At this point slowly stir in about 1 1/2 cups of hot broth keep stirring until it's all together than add more hot broth. (No more milk) Until you get it to where you want it to be. Correct your seasonings add whatever else you want to the pot and there you go!
Split pea
Peas cooked in good chicken broth and blended till smooth. Add in some ham pieces and you have split pea soup.
So now that the mystery is gone, go make some soup!

Doing the turkey shuffle. Or how to cook the bird?

                 Alright. What? you actually thought you were going to get away with NOT making a turkey and all the trimmings for Thanksgiving didn't you? Muhahahahha! Nope, no way.You're cooking!  And no frozen lasagna this year. You are going to make it all. Turkey, stuffing, and macaroni and cheese. Hmm..does any of this sound familiar to you? It should if you've been reading this blog, you already know how to make these! (well except for the bird, but we'll get to that) Now, quit your whining and go wash your hands, we've go work to do. :o)

So as you look at this turkey,(Jive turkey!..sorry) ahem.. you'll see that it's really just a big chicken. However if thought of roasting a chicken sends you running for cover than this is worst than I thought. The way to make nice with a turkey is to use a turkey bag. Reynolds (as in the aluminum foil people.) makes oven safe bags for this very purpose. Forget the Norman Rockwell picture of mama basting the bird at the oven door, life is short and we are going to use the bag! Now,where was I? Oh yes..the turkey (hereafter to be known as the bird or...jive turkey!) HAHA! Anyway, you'll need to clean the bird. There is no such thing as a clean bird. I don't care how good it looks. They all have feathers and stuff and they need to be looked over before you cook them. If you don't clean the bird, expect a house call from your local poultry police..I'll send them to you and.they will lock you up in the chicken coop! Ok that was bad...i'm done..really. So how do you clean the bird, chicken, turkey, duck,.same thing. Take your bird and run your hands over it. Feathers are hard. The fluffy part has been pulled out mechanically and all that's left is the hard part that's left in the skin. That's what you want. Take a butter knife and pinch the feather between your thumb and knife and pull it out. Do this for your whole bird. Now rinse. There are also flaps of skin, generally on the front or back of the turkey that have a ton of feathers and it's just not worth it to pick each one out. Just get a sharp knife and cut them off. Toss in the garbage and your problem is solved. Stick you hand on the inside and remove giblet bag. I cannot TELL you how many times I have forgotten to remove the bag from the inside of the bird. It's harmless, just don't to make a habit of it. What exactly is in the giblet bag? The turkey neck, the heart, and liver and the gizzard. Good stuff for stock, but I digress. Back to the bird.
    Put the giblet bag aside and no you can't throw it away.  Remember, I have the poultry police on speed dial!
Now if your bird has no more feathers and you've rinsed it well put it on a clean platter and season it; inside and out. I use seasoned salt,(Lawry's, or McCormick's or Adobo or your own creation, whutevuh works for you) pepper, garlic and onion powder. I also stick a whole onion inside, you can also stick a carrot some celery, a parsley sprig. The idea is to season the bird. All of these things add flavor while the bird cooks. Now put your bird in the oven bag. Depending on how big your bird is you may need help! This is a good time to talk about what size bird to get. Generally I go by how much I like turkey. Now in my house, no one really likes turkey so I don't buy a 47 pound bird! Even though there's 7 people in the house. I get like a 10 or 12 pound bird. That works for soup, or sandwiches. And to top it off no one eats dark meat. ( not to mention, my favorite vegan who doesn't even eat meat!) Moment of silence for me... Yeah so the point is to know your people. If it's just you, than buy accordingly. Also don't think that you'll freeze the rest and eat it later. No one wants to open a mystery package of meat in April to eat last thanksgiving's turkey. Leftover frozen turkey tastes like cardboard, only cardboard has a whole lot more flavor. So based on that, buy what you think you'll need. Follow the directions on the oven bag packaging. Basically, it's put bird in bag with seasoning put your bag in a roasting pan, pyrex, oven safe ( meaning all metal) stock pot? whatever you have that will fit the bird, and add the stock. Tie the bag closed with the supplied tie, and poke holes in it with a fork or slit the top a knife to let the steam out. Not hard. Let's get our bird in the oven.

   Now, 300 degrees is considered a low oven, in other words your bird is not going to cook fast. If you have a 25 pound bird (why??) and you put it on 300 it should be ready on Christmas Eve. If you are cooking a large bird, put it on 350 or so and it should be done in about  4 to 5 hours. (or days!) This is just not my idea of fun. If you have a bird that large, consider cutting it into parts, clean and season each part. Pack the parts in groups in ziploc bags and freeze them. Put the giblets and boney parts in separate bags and  pack in a ziploc as well.  Don't forget to clean and season everything. Nothing is thrown away except fatty portions with lots of feathers. (yuk) Once you do this, you can pick and choose what parts you want to cook. And because it's raw and seasoned You can cook the breast and the legs for thanksgiving and the wings and thighs for another meal and so on. I have done this many times and it really works. The pieces have been living in all of that seasoning so when you cook them they are so wonderfully flavored all the way through. Make sure you clean your hands really well. I wash them with Dawn and then spray the antibacterial spray directly under my fingernails and all over my hands, clean under my nails, rinse in hot water and wash again.Then I just use a really good moisturizer like Udder Cream or something else that's non greasy. Or you can try using gloves, they've never worked for me.
Okay your bird is in the oven and now you can clean up. (more cleaning?..yas!) A word about cleaning up. Raw meat has germs and you'll need an antibacterial kitchen spray to kill those germs. Use paper towels to wipe up all the water that splashed during the feather hunt. That way you can just throw it away. (Not green I know) After you've wiped the water, spray all of your surfaces generously with the antibacterial spray. Don't forget the faucet, the other sink, if you have a double sink. Behind the appliances on the counter, the back splash behind the faucet. And dry with a paper towel. Spray the Dawn bottle and wipe it down. Make sure to let the spray go in all the nooks and crannies on the sink. Then wipe everything dry. Lastly, spray a paper towel until it's damp and wipe the refrigerator handle and the garbage can top. I know this may seem excessive but you want your sink and counters spotless and germ free so you can continue to cook with confidence.
While the bird is in the oven I can finish my laundry, fuss at some kids and maybe even run to the grocery store. Why..because I'm not in a rush. Cooking is supposed to be an enjoyable endeavor. If you look at Thanksgiving as dinner, rather than a large event you'll relieve yourself of all the stress. Be mindful of who you've invited to your table, if they're stress producers leave them home. Invite people that will encourage you and celebrate your accomplishments. Don't invite a lot of them, maybe like two. There, stress gone poof!
Lets pretend that it's about 3 hours or so later and the bird is done. That's a guesstimate for my 10-12 pound bird. You will have to use your judgment. Generally, no less than 2 hours on 300 degree oven. You pull it out of the oven, and open the bag and see that it's falling apart. The legs have pulled away from the body and the liquid on the bottom is bubbling. The final test is the breast meat. You take a slice off and taste it and it melts in your mouth! WOW! you are amazing!
p.s..do not under any circumstances present your bird at the table and attempt to carve it.  Do your damage in the kitchen and present your masterpiece on a platter. They won't care as long as it's cooked. My turkey's are rarely photogenic. The cooking bag makes the bird so moist that the meat literally falls off the bone, and  that sounds like good eating to me.

The land of the beyond..or stuffing for dummies

OK, so I have a few areas of uncharted territory in my cooking adventures. One of them is making a scratch cake (as in not from a box) and the other is making homemade stuffing. Why does it matter?  Especially since only the adults in my house even LIKE stuffing. The meat eaters hate it. But my favorite vegan likes his stuffing with fried Portabello mushrooms, onion, garlic, celery, seasoning, chicken broth and bread crumbs made from whole wheat rolls. (gee is that all?!) That's it, right on the bottom of this paragraph. Vegan stuffing. Yummy!
  Alrighty then, back to the uncharted territory. This was the first successful attempt at homemade stuffing that I'd ever made. All of my previous attempts were horrible. I kept trying to make my grandmother's stuffing with the pork sausage, or  my mother-in -law's with the hard boiled eggs. And it just was awful! I think the reason is that none of these were my own creation. Now once again, if you are looking for relevance to the plight of the homeless in this in depth study, than this is not the blog for you! (smile) It's just cooking nothing more, nothing less. But if you can feel confident in the kitchen, who knows what it might do for other areas of the house!(HAHAHA!) Oh my dear!
Back to the stuffing. So you now have the recipe for how to feed a vegan stuffing. Now for me I make mine totally different. Since I'm a meat eater who occasionally grazes on veggies I used leftover chicken soup in my stuffing. (well i never..well you're going to today!) You know me, no rules only guidelines. Ready?
You will need: 
Bread crumbs- no boxed bread crumbs, or bagged stuffing please. Use leftover french bread or rolls. Toast them in the oven, put them in a large plastic bag and crush them.
Now your stuffing will only be as good as your breadcrumbs. So if you use hamburger buns, or 3 for a dollar bread..well..do we really need to go into this?  I am a cooking dweeb so I make rolls and bread at my house to keep the carb junkies at bay. Which means I always have homemade bread around. So I take my trusty mini food processor and grind them up. (Have I mentioned the fact that you need a mini food processor? well..I'm mentioning it.. mention mention ahem.. ) OK, back to the stuffing.
Leftover chicken soup, (yes, it's homemade!!) but you can just use chicken broth, no cubes please.
2 eggs beaten
Celery
Onions
Garlic
(And whatever else you want to put in to make this yours. Make it Latin with Sofrito and spices, Make it Indian with Garam Marsala, tumeric and cumin ( get Garam Marsala online, check links to the right) or make it Asian with Oyster sauce and green onions and ginger. Man, talk about uncharted territory! Go for it. I'm just giving you the bones you flesh them out any way you like.)
Alright now where was I?
Oh yes, so you have bread crumbs, broth, eggs beaten and veggies,and seasoning. Season this well. Salt, pepper, onion powder, garlic powder are four of the basics I use. Now put it all together in a bowl. Here is where you add enough moisture to make it moist. The secret to moist stuffing is liquid. Too much and you have soup, too little and it's like oatmeal. This should not be soupy and it should not be dry,  Use your instincts. Remember, if you make this watery you will have to add more bread crumbs and adjust the seasoning.
 Once you have this all incorporated,  pour it into a buttered, not margerined...casserole (pyrex works well here) Cover it and bake it at 350 for about 40 minutes. The eggs will make it puff up nicely. After the 40 minutes take the top off and give it another 5-7 minutes to let it brown.
There, you've made homemade stuffing! You are so incredible, you rock!
Ideas: 
-Make your own instant stuffing mix ( which is nothing more than bread crumbs and seasoning) Take some of your homemade bread crumbs and toast them in the oven with a little buttah. In a plastic bag add a teaspoon of dried parsley,some onion powder, garlic powder, pepper and 2 crushed to smithereens chicken stock cubes and what ever else you want to put in)  Anyway mix it well. and after your crumbs have cooled toss them with the seasoning. I would keep this in the freezer because of the butter. Try it and let me know how it comes out.
-Mix your bread crumbs,with leftover beef stew. Whut?! Oh yes why not? Why does poultry get all the fancy treatment? Tell me if you put stuffing on a plate with mashed potatoes, buttered corn, baked meatloaf and gravy you wouldn't get some LOVE?  You would! True undying love and accolades!! Switch out your chicken broth for beef broth, go ahead and add the celery and onion etc.
Let me know how it comes out.
-Add a little sweet to your savory. I used whole wheat ,cinnamon raisin rolls for my vegan stuffing. Yes that means there were bits of raisin in my mushroom stuffing. It was wonderful! If you've ever had cranberry sauce on the same plate as your turkey you get the connection. You can use raisin bread, the good kind from the bakery section of the grocery store. Anything from the bread isle might be a little too sweet and processed. (but whatever works for you )  Try this and let me know how it comes out. :-)

Pasta Fagioli...or how to eat like you can afford to.

So what exactly is Pasta Fagioli. It's peasant food. Or my favorite term: Farm Food! (thank you Kim) A big ol' bowl of something hot and flavorful that doesn't cost a lot of money! I don't know about you but I'm all for cheap flavorful food. Let's eat like we can afford to! Now, like everything else I do, this only skirts the guidelines of the traditional Pasta Fagioli. (By the way Fagioli is itailian for bean) So we are making pasta and bean soup. Remember for all you seasoned chefs out there, this site is all about instruction so we go slow and in depth, I assume the person I'm talking to is total newbie when it comes to cooking. Here we go!
I start this soup like I start every other soup, with a good stock. I don't mean get crazy and roast beef bones in the oven and then and simmer in water on the stove for 4 days and strain. Who has the time for all of that? Not me! This soup is what you do after you've made that fantastic roast for dinner and you have all of this great broth in the pan.
You will need:
A roast
Lipton Beefy Onion soup
Salt
Pepper
Onion powder
Garlic powder
Veggies (celery, onion, carrot)
Make roast in the oven, not the crockpot this taste better if it's roasted in the dry heat of an oven-Don't worry you can do this!
-Take a roast, preferably a chuck roast, but whatever you have is fine. Put it in an oven bag, you know the kind you roast turkey's in? It's in the aluminum foil isle. Put your roast into the bag after you've rinsed it well. Season well, salt,pepper,garlic powder,onion powder however much you want. And here is where you can put well rinsed celery, carrots, onion, in if you want to, it adds to the flavor of the broth. (yum!) And add an envelope of  lipton beefy onion dry soup mix.(Yeah, lipton soup is your grandma's secret weapon) This can be salty so watch your salt. Add about a cup of water, you can add more but not much. You are not trying to make soup just a flavorful broth. Tie the bag and bake it in the oven on 300 for about 1 hr and 1/2 depending on how big your roast is.The nice thing about the bag is it keeps the meat moist so you almost can't mess this up! I like recipes like this.
-OK dinner is done and the roast was wonderful. You are amazing! Now your are in the kitchen cleaning up and you have this stuff left in the bottom of the bag. What to do? Pasta Fagioli! Why is this different from traditional pasta fagioli? Well I have no veggies in the soup, and most of them don't start with leftover roast gravy.
What you'll need-
1-16oz box of pasta-shells, elbows, rigatoni whatever, as long as it's on the small size. (Try to catch the pasta on sale and stock up for just such an occasion as this)
Cook your pasta according to the directions, drain-do not rinse in a colander. Put in a bowl with a little olive oil or butter. ( not much)
 1-Large can of tomato sauce, or small can of tomato paste and small can sauce, crushed tomatoes. Whatever you have. Catch the sale at the grocery store..you can even use  leftover spagetti sauce if you have it. Or crushed tomatoes, whatever you have on hand..tomato soup? Why not?
1-can of beans- once again, whatever you have on hand. I would stay away from chick peas-because they have a strong flavor and fava,or seasoned black beans. And definitely stay away from that can of baked beans in the back of your pantry. You want a plain unseasoned can of kidney or navy or white lima something not overpowering.
1-container good beef broth (no cubes please)
Okay we're in the home stretch
Make sure your hands are clean and cut up the leftover roast put it aside.
Put a colander (it's what you drain spagetti in) Hey someone had to tell me! Anyway put this over/in a large clean bowl. Pour all of your broth, veggies everything in the colander. The stuff in the pan is what goes in the colander. It's purpose is to catch the broth and leave all the big pieces. Pick out usable meat and toss everything else. Trust me those veggies gave their lives for a worthy cause!
Okay, the rest of this is easy. You might not have much liquid from the pan, but no matter. Pour it into a pot, add your tomato sauce, 2 cups beef broth and your pasta, beans and meat. Simmer until all is incorporated. Taste.. Hmm..correct your seasoning. It should taste like a rich and tomatoey(is this a word?) broth. Well seasoned but not overpowering. Here's where you trust your instincts. What does it need? More garlic, more tomato sauce? Italian seasoning is nice. Remember this should taste like it is an Italian soup. Taste it again, is it better? Remember, you are not trying to compete with your friends mama's soup. This is your interpretation of an Italian classic. Does it taste good? Eat something sweet and taste it again, sometimes you can't taste the difference in the flavor because your taste buds are overworked!
oops!
Is it over seasoned?
We can fix it. Make more pasta, bigger pasta this time and dump the "soup" in with the pasta.Now you have a pasta ragu. (in other words your tomato sauce has meat in it).No longer soup, now it's noodles and sauce! We can try for the soup another day. The important thing is you have made something wonderful out of very simple ingredients, Serve your Ragu with some garlic bread and enjoy. Take a bow!

Life beyond meat or a Vegan's gotta eat!

It's amazing how limited some of our favorite vegan restaurants are. Here where I live, we have a vegan restaurant like every 2 feet or so. Since we have a higher concentration of non-meat eating, gluten challenged, diary inhibited, raw food loving folks per square foot than say like Guam! Nice for my favorite vegan, however, most of these eateries serve food that has a high concentration of heat without much flavor. Or they serve completely bland unseasoned food. You either have one or the other but you seldom walk away satisfied. I believe that you don't stop loving to eat because you don't eat meat. Home cooking is home cooking and vegans want food that excites the palate just like the rest of us. Incidentally I was a vegan for like 7 seconds. Haha! Yeah, I'd pretty much run over my grandmother for a piece of bacon!

I made this just yesterday and it came out wonderful! One thing to note though,it is not visually appealing. Um yeah that picture isn't mine. Mine is in the freezer. So like I was saying Brown rice looks kind of blah, but most things that are lip smackin good are best to be eaten with close friends and family anyhow. You know I'm right!

You will need a Latin Market or a well stocked Grocery Store 

Black Beans and Red and Brown Rice

-1/2 cup Sofrito- about.com , elboricua.com  

Check these sites out before you begin.

Here's my quick recipe: Once you do this you are never to use anything in a jar labeled Sofrito or Recao You will make this in large batches and freeze and use it in everything except like..pudding. (okay pumpkin?) Haha!

Red Pepper

Green Pepper

Garlic

Cilantro

Salt

Pepper

Cayenne (pinch)

Onion

Olive Oil (or whatever you have)

Run this through a food processor. One of those little ones is fine. I know you were going to pick one up yesterday. This is something you need, it costs about 25 dollars at Shop Rite, probably cheaper at Walmart. I have the best Shop Rite in the world right down the road from me. In fact I almost don't need to go to a cultural market because they have so many of the ingredients on the shelves. I like to shop at the cultural markets because you get better deals, better selections and better prices plus you get to immerse yourself in the culture you are exploring. And ask questions.

This is my version that I throw together in a pinch. Sofrito is totally subjective. Some people add olives, hot peppers (aji dulces) or pimento or whatever.  No rules just guidelines but make sure you maintain the integrity of the dish. Read through the website and get an idea of what you're going for. This is primarily a Puerto Rican food site.(A nod to my Puerto Rican heritage) You can adjust the ingredients any way you like that's why there are no measurements. You will need something to turn the rice red. (You can use Annato powder or I use a packet of Sazon or even Achiote paste if you are a real purist). You can find Sazon in the grocery store, it is a seasoning packet so it will season your food as well as color it. Be mindful of that as you add your other seasonings. Also be mindful that it might have MSG in it. If you choose not to do MSG than you will have to get a suitable substitute from a Latin market. Sazon is a brand name. I have a lot of these ingredients on hand because you know me, when I decide to cook cultural, I go all in; I buy everything and spend way to much money!!

-Brown rice, as in not white rice. It is sold in 1 pound bags in the rice section. Measure 1-2 cups whatever your pleasure. It's generally double the amount of water to rice. So 2 cups water to 1 cup rice. BUT my favorite vegan likes his rice saucy so I add more liquid.

-1/2 can of tomato paste ( you can put in the whole can if you have a lot of rice)

-Adobo seasoning.( It's latin seasoned salt) and no you can't substitute.

-Pepper

-Garlic Powder

-Onion Powder

-A sprinkle of cumin

-Three grains of sugar (really all you need in 3 grains and a wish)

-A can of black beans preferably Goya ( store brand will do)

-2-4 cups good beef broth ( no cubes please) depending on how much rice you used you might not need all of this broth.

Ready?

Fry 1/2 your Sofrito in a little oil till tender (You're going to keep the other half to stir in rice at the very end)

Add your half cup of tomato paste and some Adobo. You want to marry the flavors here.

Add your brown rice, black beans, broth and seasoning. Taste your liquid, what does it need? You want your liquid well seasoned not over seasoned. ok taste it again..good? now add just a wisp of sugar. Just a sprinkle. Taste, hmm..you probably did'nt add enough. A little teensy bit more..now taste it. Notice the balance of the tomato and salt. The sugar balances the acidity of the tomato and the salt in the pot. If you are still not feeling this adjust until its the way you want it. Caution. don't overseason, and do not over sweeten, if you don't trust yourself leave this part out. (But I think you can do it!) When in doubt, better to leave it not perfect and adjust it on your plate rather than destroy the pot.

(Now if I were cooking with meat, I plop a big ol smoked turkey leg or 12 in the pot and let it cook down for 2 or 3 days) Haha!

Anyway where were we? Oh yes you should have a big pot of tomatoey broth with rice and beans in it. The tradional pot to cook rice in is called a Caldero, this is a spanish dutch oven made of aluminum that makes a mean pot of rice because of it's ability to hold steam. It also makes all the seasoned crunchies on the bottom called pegao. I have eaten a plate of this!  No you don't need to buy a Caldero, I have one because I am a cooking nerd but you can use any heavy pot with a good fitting lid )  psst..I have gotten pegao in my rice cooker, in fact that's how I usually do my spanish rice.

So set your pot to boil once it boils turn it down to low. You want it to simmer not burn. leave it for about 45-60 minutes. Try not to take the top off for the first 30 minutes or so stir and replace the lid. Once it's done, the liquid is cooked down and it should still be cooked through. Taste it! umm..this is pretty good right? I try really hard not to stir this while it's cooling or you will have a big pot of mush. Take the top off and wait about 10 minutes. Take the rest of your Sofrito, nuke it for like 30 seconds to take the chill off and put it in your pot adjust your seasoning if you want to and fluff. FLUFF? Yes two forks one in each hand, make like your mixing salad all around the pot. No mixing, fluffing. There.. all done. Feel free to spoon up a bowl.Yay! You  made rice and beans or Arroz y habechuelas! Take a bow! You're a fantastic cook!

Idea- I made a pretty mean beef gravy for the beef chunks that I made for the meat eaters in my family. I poured this over my plate of spanish rice and proceeded to dance around the kitchen! It was soo good. I froze the rice and gravy in individual portions so my favorite vegan could eat through the week. If we were'nt already married I'm sure he would have proposed!!

How to feed "My Favorite Vegan".

Well it is time to remember recipes for my favorite vegan. People sometimes get the idea that folks who don't eat meat don't like to eat hearty. Well not in my house! I married a man who loves to eat, so how do I feed him when I can't use meat? Ya'll know how I love a challenge so the goal is to put together hearty meals, without sacrificing flavor? Well the first thing to remember is that there are no rules. There are guidelines but no rules. I was raised by a southern grandma so I'm not going to abandon my southern roots just cuz I can't use meat. So this is what I did. My dear husband (henceforth to be known as "my favorite vegan") loves spice and heat.  Those two factors open up a world of possibilities for my creativity. Also, and it just gets gooder and gooder here; he loves beans, peas, and Farm Food. You know, the kind of food where you just make it steaming hot and flavorful, and slap it over rice or potatoes. Shoot! give me something hard to do! I know I can do this. Here's a few of my ideas:
I went to my favorite Indian food site about.com and read up on spices. Don't laugh if you want to know about anything you can find it on this site. I wanted to know the basics of what made Indian food taste Indian. Instead of Americanized Indian. Thank you  Patrina Verma Sarkar. ( She runs the site) It's like how to cook Indian food for dummies.
I went at this like a detective, I learned all about lentils (daal) which are similar to peas but not exactly the same. Once I got my list together I looked on the web for an Indian market near my area. Found one, yay! Not only that but I found a spice website just in case I couldn't find what I needed. Here's a tip: When you're getting ready to venture into home cooking from another culture, stay away from your local grocery store. Ask your friends, check the web and shop in culture as much as possible. I went into the Indian market with my list, and everyone was so nice. And yes, I stuck out but I knew I was in the right place. I focused on the food of North India mostly because of the focus on dairy, as soon as I found out that ghee (clarified butter) was one of the main components I was sold. Ok, on to the food.
Yellow Lentils (Moong Daal)
- 1  cup split yellow lentils
-1 onion/1 tsp garlic fried in ghee (or oil)
- 2 cups chicken broth (my favorite vegan likes more of a soup texture but you can use less broth.)
-1/2 tsp Garam Masala- a basic Indian seasoning, this is hot so I only use a little. Remember this is my version not traditional. You can add more, this is just guideline.
-1/8 tsp tumeric
-1/8 tsp cardamom
-sprinkle of cumin-to taste. (for me, too much gives it a latin flavor)
-1/4 tsp of ginger/garlic paste. (a wonderful little find from my Indian Market)
-salt ( to taste)
-chili powder- just a few shakes (once again, this is to taste. This is indian chili powder so it is stinkin hot and bright red (not dark brown like for making chili)  I only use enough to give it a kick.
-1/2 tsp onion powder
-Coconut milk
Put all of this in a rice cooker and go watch a movie. Get one with an automatic shut off  and you can do this.  If you don't have a rice cooker...get one. They cost 25-35 dollars and you can get them at Shop Rite, Target, Walmart. You can get them almost anywhere. If you are really serious about cooking you need tools right? and a rice cooker is multi-purpose tool you have to have.  Really. You'll thank me the first time you want to go shopping and cook rice at the same time.
Ok once this is done cooking, about 20 minutes. Turn it off and run it through with your hand blender. You know the one that looks like a wand. Sigh...I know..here it comes YES you need this. And no they are not expensive about 25 dollars. Why do you need one? Tomato pieces in your soup? Blend them away!  Gravy lumpy? Blend it away! The nice thing is you can stick the blender in  the pot and whisk it around the liquid and it is smooth as silk in no time. No lumps.
So I blend all the lumps away correct the seasoning and add about 1/4-1/2 cup of coconut milk. This adds a nice flavor to the finished product. No, coconut milk is not sweet, it's not even overly coconutty. (my word..obviously)
In fact, on it's own it's quite nursty!  Definitely an aquired taste. BUT it is perfect for spicy foods because it cools the pot but still lets the food retain it's character. Add it a little at a time. You can always add more but once you add too much you have ruined the integrity of the dish and it begins to taste like something else.
Soup done! Now, I fry up a good handful of medium cooked shrimp in some ghee, garlic, salt, and a little pepper. Once they are done, no more than 6 minutes total I throw them in a bowlful of yellow lentil soup and serve this with some whole wheat bread and watch my favorite vegan munch away. (I'll show you how to make whole wheat bread in another post, but for now regular wheat bread will do)
Ideas:
Empty your rice cooker -don't wash it- and put in 2 cups of basmati rice (and only  basmati rice, ) and 4 cups of chicken broth and a little Ghee and a sprinkle of Garam Masala. (yay, more ghee)
Hit the cook button and go watch your favorite 1/2 hr sitcom.
Serve the shrimp and soup over the rice with wheat bread and feed your vegan hearty! Ha!
Serve the soup/shrimp over mashed potatoes seasoned with salt and ghee. ( no rules remember?)
Mix the shrimp and the rice and the soup (yellow lentils) together almost like a cajun gumbo. Total freedom to do whatever you want.  Make this more hearty by adding sauteed scallops in with the shrimp. Use your imagination and go for it.
Things you must have:
Hand Blender
Rice Cooker

Cornbread from scratch??!!

Yes, for all of you that thought that cornbread originated in the blue and white Jiffy box, this may come as quite a shock! Myself included. Here I thought I was making wicked cornbread because I could doctor the stuff in the box. Now there's nothing wrong with making cornbread this way, and you can do it like this forever. I mean who cares as long as it taste good right? Right. So why even bring it up.
Well..one day I went to a southern style restaurant with my dear husband. They brought us out a plate of biscuits and cornbread while we waited..because they know adults can't go long with out eating! Well the biscuits were ok, but the cornbread was wonderful! I kept trying to figure out how they made it. Why was this so wonderful and more importantly why did I care? It wasn't particularly sweet. But that is just a matter of preference. It was  crunchy on the bottom and not too sweet but well balanced. Not cakey or dry, just perfect. In other words it didn't taste like MINE. That began my quest. Since I'm all about the making the basic recipes well, and I obviously don't have much else to do (Not!). I asked the waitress,in my most innocent voice "ahem..these corn muffins are positively yummy however do you make them?" and she told me about how they make them from their own mix that they sold in the lobby. "oh thank you" I said.  I knew full well what my next move was and so did my dear husband  "Um I'm just going to run to the restroom hon," Eyebrows raised he said "ok, don't be too long" After 21 years the man knows me. hahaha So I go and check my make-up just so I was honest and made a bee line for the packaged goods. I quickly found it, and read the back of the box, hmm.. flour, corn meal ,sugar, salt, blah blahh blah. In other words nothing special. I figured I'd better get back to the table before my favorite vegan sends out a search party for me. "Well did you find it? " "Oh yeah, and I KNOW I can make this" Girls I married the right guy, because he engaged me while I tried to figure out exactly how they made this cornbread. I kept taking another bite and closing my eyes as if the process were written on the inside of my eyelids or something. Bless him, he let me.
So what does this have to do with world peace? Uh absolutely nothing! This is an exercise in sheer frivolity. I mean it makes a difference to me, but to no one else. But just in case there are few out there who share my madness here is a recipe from a food magazine I found in my stash. I adapted to fit my limited memory.

So here it is.. a not Jiffy cornbread

What you need:


-A  9x13 pyrex pan. If you don't have one..um yeah you need one.
Half a stick of butter to melt in the pan.
put your oven on 400 and put the butter in and pop it in the oven. You want the butter to brown..not burn. If you don't trust yourself do this before you start making the cornbread.

Ok now to the cornbread..
-1 cup butter softened
(not liquid...once it's liquified it's good for crab legs and corn, and little else. It should still look like a stick of butter, just soft)
-Sugar- I like it sweet so I use more than a 1 cup of sugar, and believe it or not it does not taste like cake. This is a matter of preference. the recipe calls for 1/4 cup of sugar, which is like what I use in my coffee, so whatever suits your taste.
-1 cup of milk.
-3 eggs (beaten)
Mix milk and eggs together after you beat the eggs
-4 cups cornmeal mix (Whoa what?!ok I know. This is sold in the flour section) Quaker makes it in yellow or white cornmeal. There are a few different brands besides Quaker but the basic idea is the same. I have never been able to tell the difference in flavor between white and yellow although I find myself gravitating toward the yellow for some reason.
Cornmeal mix has all the baking powder and salt mixed in with flour so all you do is add your stuff to it. Isn't that amazing! Now truth be told the recipe calls for flour and baking powder and salt to be measured separately but why make it harder on yourself?

Ok what's next?
-Cream your butter and sugar together and use a hand mixer. If you don't have one, get it at Shop Rite for like 18 bucks. It is seriously worth it. Nope..no excuses just buy it. You will thank me the next time you want to be all Betty Crocker and whatnot! (for you guys..pick someone.. um Bobby Flay!..yeah)
Here we go!
-1/2 your milk/egg into butter sugar, mix on low for like a minute, then add 1/2 your cornmeal stuff, mix on low.
- Now rest of your milk/egg (if you need more liquid add a splash more milk)Use a big spoon here..too much mixing makes tough cornbread.
- And finish with the rest of your flour. Stir until just mixed. Two or three big stirs and you should have all of the milk/egg incorporated. You are not trying to stir cake batter here You are going for just stirred so you might have some flour showing but that's ok.
Now pour the goop into your buttered 9x13 pan and bake at 400 for about 25 minutes.
Now in my oven 25 -30 minutes is good. I don't know how hot your oven is so you might have to eyeball it. It looks done when it's done, no guesswork, you can tell. So after 25 minutes open your very hot oven and pull out your cornbread and press down on the center. It should spring back. If not pop it back it for 5-10 minutes.
Take it out and behold the beauty! Take a bow you did it! Scratch cornbread! Yay! You are incredible!

Food 101

You know it occurred to me that cooking is not like breathing. I mean, to some people it’s natural…(like me!) But to the new bride for instance, it may be nerve racking and a source of continued anxiety. She constantly wonders what to do? what to do? If you didn't grow up learning recipes at your grandma's knee and you haven't a clue, then you need ideas. I find myself sharing ideas all the time so why not put them on the page, right? I’ve been cooking for like forever and I actually derive pleasure from…cooking! Thankfully I have a large family which on paper sounds like I cook all the time. But in fact, being teenagers my kids rarely eat home like they used to.…insert moment of silence here. And.. my dear hubby is a vegan, a shot to my meat and potatoes heart. SO short of giving leftovers to the homeless and growing my own victory garden, I have gotten creative. I thought there might be a few folks out there who could relate. Feel free to post your ideas and comments about life and recipes and lets consider this an ongoing conversation over a cup of coffee and some cake!

The picture you see is not my macaroni and cheese but doesn't it look wonderful! I love mac and cheese..doesn't everyone? It's like how to make friends and influence people in one easy lesson, bring mac and cheese. Ok enuf chatter.. Here's a few ideas. Oh yeah.. I write these recipes as if I were talking to a new bride or someone who's never cooked before. So don't be insulted if you're a seasoned chef like myself (Not!) and I take time to explain things. That's how we all learn. Right? The good thing is, this is basic food, nothing fancy This is the stuff you remember from thanksgiving. I believe it's not the fancy stuff that brings folks home for dinner. It's home cooking. And that's what I'm about, being able to put together good food and feeling good about making it. I learned how to cook because I had feed people and I didn't want to kill them with my cooking!! I believe you have a lifetime to learn how to prepare snails in wine sauce. Lets work on the basics. No precise measurements here, the idea is to trust your instincts.  Ready?

Baked Mac and Cheese

16 oz box of noodles of choice (get the 99 cent box please!) Fat macaroni works great!

Cheese- I use the mild and sharp cheddar. Go easy on the sharp it can quickly overpower. You want at least 3 cups combined for a 9x13 pan. Contrary to popular belief, more cheese does not necessarily a better mac and cheese make. Without flavor it's an expensive bowlful of goo.

 Eggs- 2-3

Milk-you are making custard with the eggs and the milk, so enough to fill half the pan. A word about eggs to milk ratio. Too eggy and you will have dry macaroni and cheese, too milky and your eggs will not set up well. So just eyeball it. I have screwed this up many times but there is hope if you do. Keep reading.
9x13 pan- This works well. Too deep of a pan and the casserole (which is what this is) takes too long to cook.and you run the risk of overcooking your eggs. To shallow.. and well trust me this is a good size. I use pyrex. Start your pyrex collection with this pan it's cheap and you can use it for everything.

Salt, pepper and a pinch of sugar. Yes I said sugar!


 Oven 350 for 40-50 minutes depending on temp of your oven. I'll explain later. Keep reading.

OK here we go.

Cook your mac- with plenty of salt,and al dente. Don't forget this is going to be in a hot oven for a while, so don't watch tv while this is cooking. (smile) Al dente means it is still a little undone, not crunchy just a little undone. Stir your mac. Oh yeah if you don't have enough water in the pot your mac will be al dente and mushy (scientific term..mushy) anyway, cook your mac in a big ol stock pot with about 2 tablespoons of salt. Let the water come to a full rolling boil and then pour your noodles in. Stir.(Big ol spoon)
While it's cooking organize your area, wipe counters, wash your dirty dishes. Clean as you go.
Ok noodles done, Take a colander and put it in the sink. Carefully pour your noodles hot, water into the colander. The water will run out and your noodles will be steaming hot.(They will continue to cook until they cool down.) Do not turn the water off and leave the noodles in the hot water. Over cooked noodles are good for wall paper paste and are absolutely non-redeemable. Take the colander with the noodles/mac..and put it on top of the pot. It should sit nicely. Now is a good time to pour a little melted butter over your noodles and stir them. Butter is not necessary for good mac and cheese. In fact it adds very little flavor unless you alter it. Like brown it in a pan first.This adds good flavor but also turns up the salt factor. if you're going to do this adjust the salt in your custard. You are just putting enough butter on to keep the noodles from sticking.





Cool your mac-
While your mac is cooling... Make your custard
Pour your milk in a bowl..salt and pepper to taste and a little sugar to balance. This is not supposed to be sweet! Just balanced. If you don't trust yourself, just stick with the salt and pepper. Pepper is a seasoning and it will alter the flavor so not to much please. And over salting will kill your meal in a hurry. Remember your noodles are salted and you just poured salted butter ( unsalted butter is a very specific ingredient, not generally used for artery clogging meals like this one.) The way to get better is to taste, and taste frequently.
..Ahem..a word about tasting. Some people double dip, that drives me crazy and so what I do is take whatever I'm tasting and put it in the palm of my hand. Then just taste it from my hand. If it's super lava hot, I use a clean spoon and blow on the food till it's cool enough to taste. Then I clean the spoon and re-use it.  I usually keep a sink full of soapy water, and I wear and apron for drying hands, spoon, utensil...you get the idea. How 1950 of me i know. But when I wear an apron I wipe my wet hands on my apron instead of on my clothes. See theres a method ot my madness! You can get one at Macy's cellar, or any place that sells cookware. Bed bath and beyond too. I've also just thrown a towel over my shoulder like a burp cloth. You look very cheffy (another scientific term!) and it works. You don't need an apron, I just like them. (smile)

Ok where were we?.. 


ah yes..the custard. Why do I call it a custard? Because a custard is eggs, milk and sugar. Because you make it savory by adding pepper makes it no less a custard.
Once you get the seasoning correct in your milk add the eggs,. Remember milk first, otherwise you're tasting raw egg..yuk! Eggs should be beaten well. Otherwise you have scrambled eggs in your mac and cheese.
Okay time to layer. My favorite part. Take your buttered mac and with clean hands..fingernails.. the whole shebang. You can use a big ol spoon if you have a cut or something on your hand. Let's assume you don't..,hahaha anyway,
half the noodles on the bottom, then cheese, do not be skimpy. I usually shake a little pepper here. More noodles, and cheese. You want the cheese to cover every nook and cranny. A little more pepper, you are just looking for the flavor you are not trying to make it spicy hot, unless that's how you like it. Remember it's your mac and cheese.
...A word about seasoning.- Depending on how you grew up and what flavors you're used to and your particular palette this mac and cheese may not suit you. No biggie. You can customize it to suit your taste. Spanish style mac might have red and yellow peppers, onion and a little cayenne and adobo in the noodles and maybe some cayenne and cumin in the custard. Indian flavor might have a little Garam Marsala in the noodles onion, garlic and turmeric and chili powder in the custard. Definitely the flavors would vary from what you've seen here. This is just an outline. You fill out the blanks the way you want to. You can add veggies to the buttered noodles add spices to the custard. Get it? Go ahead I won't be offended.





OK so we've got the cheese and the noodles together. The next step is to pour the custard over the noodles/cheese mixture. I use a jar to stir my custard because of this step. I cannot tell you how many times I have decorated my counter with custard goo because I used a big ol bowl to pour my custard and it went everywhere but in the casserole. Anyway, I'm sure you'll be better at this than I was..but I use a large applesauce jar or measuring cup.
Pour your custard all over the top, use that same big ol spoon to move your noodles around so the custard gets evenly distributed. Okay ready? Time to put this baby in the oven.
Put your pan on a cookie sheet before you put it in the oven. Why you ask? I know I heard you ask. HAHA. Because your cheese is going to melt, and chances are it's going to bubble over. So trust me you want your mess on the cookie sheet and not on the bottom of your oven. ( I still have nightmares about the fire truck and the lasagna..)
So anyway just put it on a beat up cookie sheet or aluminum foil the oven rack before you put it in there and you will save yourself a headache, trust me.
Pop it in. Leave it alone for about 30 minutes. Do not open the door. Everytime you peek you drop the temperature in  the oven 25 degrees.
After 30 min. you can open the oven and gently move the contents around in the pan with your spoon. It's going to be really hot so be careful. The stuff at the edges is probably begining to set up by now and the cheese on the top may even be melting depending on how hot your oven is. I take my big ol spoon (metal) and pull the contents from around the edges toward the middle which once you move the cheese around you will notice is still very liquid. Do not panic. Continue to move the contents and turn the pan around and leave it for another 20-30 minutes.  Now if you are looking for a nice brown crunchy top and a pretty presentation um..sorry that probably won't happen here. Because you have more custard than the average bear you will get creamy cheesy rather than pretty brown and uniform. You could always sprinkle cheese on it while it's cooling and that will cover a multitude of sins!
But I digress..check your mac. By now it's probably getting done on the edges but the middle is still milky. OH NO! ( don't panic) Pull the edges toward the middle. This is where I usually take it out and let it finish setting up on stove. Here's the principle.If your oven is too hot one of two things will happen; your eggs will separate and you will have watery mac and cheese. Or your cheese will separate and you will have watery clumpy mac and cheese. I've done this and let me tell you yelling at your food only confirms everyone's suspicions.(smile) So, this is what I did. I put it in colander (yes you read that right) and let the water drain out of the steaming hot mac mess. Threw it back it a clean pan and dumped more cheese and buttered bread crumbs on top and put it back in the oven to melt the cheese. I served it to my then little children and they ate it without complaint. All of that to say I have a phobia now. I rather take it out underdone and let it finish cooking while it cools. (what!)
Yes, the custard continues to cook even after you take it out of the oven. It's super super hot when it comes out of the oven and it may take 3 or 4 hours to cool completely. While it's cooling the cheese and custard do thier thing and when you can stir it once more and you will be pleased with the results. Taste it and notice how your flavorings taste. What do you need to add more or less of. This is where your personality shines. Fix what you can and I hope you are proud of yourself because you did a wonderful job!

Mistakes I have made-
Cheese separates and leaves a watery clumpy mac- Generally un-redeemable because of chunky cheese and the fact that the cheese has separated from the macaroni. You are left with water and chunky cheese in the bottom of the pan and naked noodles. Toss and try again. Even though I saved mine, It was really inedible, it worked because generally toddlers will eat what no body else will. Don't base your mac on my mistake.

Too much milk- No matter what you do it will not emuslify (come together) It is still very milky. I would throw the whole thing in a big ol stock pot on med. heat. mix a tblsp of flour or cornstarch and cold water until you have a white liquid the consistency of milk. Pour it in and stir. Adjust your seasonings. You should see it coming together. Now throw in some more cheddar cheese, or leftover spagetti sauce is wonderful. You could also throw in some ham if you don't have spagetti sauce. The bottom line is you come out with a tasty meal that will last you a few days. No one has to know that you didn't mean to make it. HAHA!